“Look at me! I’m here! Can’t you see me?” These are the words of any small child. As a child grows, these are important requests. Young children need to be nurtured and, to a large extent derive their sense of self-worth based on how well others respond to their needs. As parents we are responsible to provide for their welfare and give them a loving and safe environment in which to grow and learn the skills necessary to become independant, loving and responsible members of society. In fact, a parent’s ultimate goal is to teach their children so well they become independant and no longer need them.
Not long ago I read an article addressing the problem of adults with low self esteem. Psychologists felt low self esteem to some extent may be caused by busy parents who do not take time to look into their child’s eyes while listening to them. Because of this children assume they are unimportant and carry that belief into adulthood. It is important that parents from time to time take the time to look into their children’s eyes affirming the child’s importance, especially during a child’s formative years, when they look to others for assurance of their value.
The truth is no one can give 100% attention to their children, so there are times a child may feel ignored. There are times a child will feel unappreciated. There are times a child feels neglected. There are times a child is not the center of attention. God sent them into this world knowing these things would be part of their experience. As parents we need to give our children tools to help them through these experiences with strengthened self esteem.
We live in a world that teaches happiness, success and self esteem are achieved through the good opinion of others, or through acquisition of material possessions, or fame, or good grades. The list goes on and on. Children need to be taught that happiness is always a result of the way they think. It is never what others think of you that matters. What really matters is what YOU think of YOU. Help your children develop a sense of independant thinking. Teach them that nothing outside of themselves will ever make them happy. Happiness always comes from within.
Children need to understand it is not selfish to honor the divine within. It is a necessary part of happiness. The emphasis on helping others is so strong at times we miss the point that we must first love ourselves before we can truly love another. We can never give love to another if we do not have love for ourselves. We came into this life for the purpose of experiencing who WE are, but we get side-tracked and start trying to be like someone else. We suppose someone else is smarter, better looking, more talented, ect. You are a divine aspect of God…..no one else can be you and you cannot be anyone else. Teach your children to love and appreciate the unique set of talents and abilities God has given them. These talents and abilities are not random but were designed especially for their experience. So if there is something that seems difficult, embrace that as part of the experience of being YOU. It’s alright. Find YOUR talents…..use those talents…be happy and appreciate who YOU are.
When the time comes for our children to become parents, they, too, will hear their children say, “Look at me…I’m here. Can’t you see me?” It is then they will teach their children; “THE ONLY ONE WHO NEEDS TO SEE ME IS ME.”
For now, Earlynn’s just sayin’; “Accept, embrace, and be grateful for the unique set of talents and abilities that make YOU who YOU are.”
If you’d like to read Earlynn’s book, Transformed, just click on the ‘Earlynn’s Book’ tab above to order your copy. God Bless.